The Six of Wands and Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody

I’ve taken my bows, my curtain calls. You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it. I thank you all. — We Are the Champions, Queen

I’m going to be a tad harsh on a fabulous card in a favorite suit. The wands embody creativity, after all, and I call myself a poet. Some days call for tough love, baby.

The Rider-Waite-Smith Six of Wands highlights belief in others, a celebration of victory that could happen prematurely, as Waite would have it. That the creators of the Mythical Goddess Tarot, Katherine Skaggs and Sage Holloway made their equivalent card the card of Forgiveness says plenty on a similar credulous note: Yes. I believe in others, so much that I forgive, forgive, forgive.

Those wands in the crowd might smack that man off his high horse momentarily. I can’t say Pia Mellody, author of Facing Codependence would condone such action, but she might agree on a theory that placed him there. The central figure of the card could be someone who had known what she terms “falsely empowering” abuse as a child.

“falsely empowering” abuse

“these children receive a false sense of superiority over others in terms of value or worth, which sabotages relationships just as much as the message of being less than others does.” (Mellody, 8)

Mellody also argues that codependents have what she calls other-esteem, based on externals, such as who they know, how they look, what kind of car they drive, the degrees they have earned, and so on.


a sense of self-worth that is based upon what one has done or upon the behavior and opinions of others. “The problem is that the source of other-esteem is outside the self and thus vulnerable to changes beyond one’s control. One can lose this exterior source of esteem at any time, so other-esteem is fragile and undependable.” (Mellody, 9)

All the same, we need optimism. We want others to cheer us on. That’s why I might do something a little different next week — instead of drawing my two words from a print text, I might take them from two blogs written by two other people, to champion them a little.

Your suggestions are welcome. Thanks for the read.

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